@JDW I know that Japan has an almost 'workaholic' expectancy, in a lot of places, but you really do need to take some downtime. I don't think your subscribers would mind one iota, and considering the challenges surrounding filming etc, it might be an idea to, even for a month, just put things on pause.
I'm a sincere believer in a work/life balance. In a way, i'm a cautionary tale for why it's so important. Prepare for a finger wagging rant!
By 2018, i was the department head of a small business to business IT firm (contracted IT Support on demand) - i had three people in my department, everything was good - work started at 8:30 in the morning and 5pm, we all clocked off. Then we moved from one main office, to several smaller offices scattered around the south coast. In the space of 3 weeks, i went from having a 3 man team, to just me. I had to take on 3 people's worth of work. I was working practically round the clock. I was doing trips to London, Horsham, the West Midlands on a weekly basis. I was sleeping 3-4 hours a night. When i was home, i was working, configuring pfsense routers for client visits that had been booked in. All because I felt that if i didn't, i'd be letting people down.
I wasn't recognised for any of my effort, nor was i compensated financially or with time off.
Then, in April 2018, on my way to a client visit in London, i'd got the 6am train to get there on time, after 4 hours sleep. I'd just reached St. James Park tube, and whilst trying to run up the stairs, I felt faint, light headed, and then suddenly painful across the chest and back. I thought 'eesh, i need to get in shape, 'round' does not count as a shape!'. As i walked through the park, each step got heavier and harder to manage, my balance was off, my breathing laboured and i had to collapse on a bench. I was having a heart attack. However, i did NOT recognise this, and after 20 minutes, despite sweating profusely and finding walking excruciatingly difficult, i staggered on to the client, and then spent 8 hours in their comms room, before coming home. I felt better for sleeping, and shrugged off my experience.
Until 4 days later. I walked up the stairs from the office to the main road, and felt my pulse pounding in my neck, i was dizzy, feeling even worse than before, but again, i ignored it, choosing to believe that it was just me being out of shape. After walking upstairs further, to my 2nd floor flat, i collapsed in my armchair and sat there, almost unable to move, breathing was more and more difficult - I had, as i would later find out, Congestive Heart Failure, and was basically being drowned by fluid filling my cavity surrounding my lungs.
I went into cardiac arrest at 2:18am, thankfully with the paramedics present, in the lounge. I'd not wanted to disturb my wife in the bedroom, so she was unaware until the beeping started on the monitors and heard the commotion. I was rushed into A&E. On admit, my pulse was 170bpm and my blood pressure was 194/117.
I ended up having to have emergency cardiac surgery at 5am, whilst still partially conscious. Not recommended. I live with that mental image forever.
Within 48 hours, i'd lost 11kg of fluid weight. I could breathe, admittedly, i had the assistance of oxygen, and i was connected to a 12-lead ECG. I was in the cardiac unit for a week.
On day 3 of my hospital stay, my boss came to visit. He started off well, but then said he'd brought my laptop in, and that it'd be great if i could catch up on some tickets, as we were lagging behind. I said there was no internet there, as a way of brushing him off, but he replied with the fact he'd brought a 4G dongle so i could work.
One of the nurses overheard and told him i was under no circumstances to do anything of the sort. I was saved...for now. After being released, i was hassled and badgered to come back to work, until i agreed on the condition that i work from home, as i could have my oxygen cylinder by my chair and i was too weak to walk very far, unaided. This was adhered to for about a week. Then the boss started demanding me in the physical office. Which was 800ft from my front door.
It was this that made me realise that i was nothing but a resource to him, and not a colleague to work alongside. My work/life balance, or lack thereof, had nearly killed me and this needed to stop. Over the course of the following months, i made sure to religiously stick to my contracted hours, and went through argument after argument with the boss that we were struggling and that we needed to hire more staff. I refused every 'can you just...' and 'before you leave could you...' request. I left there in August 2018, for my current position at Unity, where i've never once been expected to work outside my hours, although i have done, with prior agreement, and i'm allowed to take time off in lieu.
I have a work/life balance now - where if i want to do literally nothing, on a weekend, i can do so.
It's seriously important for your health and wellbeing to take time for yourself. You risk burnout at the very minimum, and maybe what i've said will make you consider taking a bit of a break! Content can wait, it's always there, the audience will be, too
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. My wife constantly asks me why I keep doing it when it makes us pretty much no money. The only answer is: "my own stubborn devotion."
